Hi Carol, That all sounds pretty sad and depressing. I totally get it though, at 77 I'm right there with you. I've lost someone this past week. Not an old friend, but someone I knew from old friends and family. He was 34! Too soon. So that being said, each day is so important, you never know when it's your time, so make the most of it.!
I view death like this: I know I'm living in the last chapter of my life. It's only natural to go when it's your time to go. I accept that. I carry the mindset that time is running out and I want to do all the things I ever wanted to do if I'm physically able and still want to do those things I desired when I was younger. but today I'm more interested in the simple things and peace and contentment. I work on that every day. And yes your 34 year old friend gone. No matter our age, any one of us could get shot by a crazy drugged person, or ICE. Or anyone of us could go in a car crash. So, live my faith, be happy, and find peace and live your best life is my advice.
You sound so level headed and accepting. Kudos. I have had 7 years of loss going now. At 60 I am living a life I am not sure what to make of. All my thoughts of the future have been wiped clean. All the best to you and thanks for sharing your “place.”
Tammy I know 7 years of loss has got to be hard. It's a learned skill to accept grief and still keep pushing on. It's harder for some than others, but the truth is you will get through it one way or the other. I wish you peace, love and grace today.
He's been gone now about a month. I've already adopted a Siamese Tom Cat. He occupies me and requires a lot of attention. I have Thumper's picture posted on my refrigerator and those eyes of compassion fills my heart with love and I have fond memories of him.
I never thought of making it to 76! I'm sort of surprised. Writing on Substack is my new life. You tell stories better than I have learned to. I will keep learning from you and other writers. I am going to add selling some tiny offers of the wisdom and the insights I have learned over the years. I need to supplement my income and I think it will be fun. I still have lots of people in my life. I'm sure it is so much harder with friends and your Thumper gone. May you realize your articles move people. Keep sharing.
Have you thought about selling your tiny offers on Gumroad? It's easy to navigate and you find people on subs tack who may be interested in what you offer. We all need to supplement our retirement income these days. Everything is so expensive. I never thought back in the 70's and 80's that these prices would be this high and a small apartment $1600 a month. But it is here for sure. Good luck to you. If you tell your stories, remember to show not tell. Maybe find some material someplace and ask how to practice on this.
Right behind you Carol and realized there's really no 'there' to get to. This is part of the journey for me and yes, I'm eternally grateful for this solo life I lead.
Sometimes I daydream about - over there somewhere. But really, it's about this new life I'm in.
Nothing you shared here sounded depressing or sad to me. It felt as if you've come into your own in some way. Thank you.
It's not sad for me. I accept where I am in life and thank God I lived an adventurous life when I was young. No drugs, no trouble with the law, followed the rules, worked hard and had a good American life style that I'm grateful for today. I've lived my life with intention and still I'm living with dreams and intentions.
Yes, we are online now. It's so different than I expected. Do you remember the days when we use to go and sit on friend and family's front porches and eat watermelon tog. Or just visit at the kitchen table. That doesn't happen anymore. People are just too tied up. But everyone socializes on the smart phone these days.
This is so beautiful, and so deeply moving. The way you describe starting over as what’s left after life has quietly taken so much is both heartbreaking and true. It honors the reality that grief does not disappear just because time has passed.
I especially loved the quiet mercy of the porch, the solar lights, and the cicadas still singing. Those small details hold so much survival, and hint at hope despite the losses. Thank you for writing this with such honesty.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Thumper. That unconditional, dependable love. I watched my mother outlive all her people. It's not pretty, or fun. Even when you find new ones...
I think about how I would feel if I lost my sisters. We communicate better than I do with my daughters. I guess it's a generational gap that makes the difference. If I outlive all my family, I too will feel the loneliness, but I have many cards, letters and pictures to help me navigate the storms of life.
This is so beautiful, Carol. Thank you for sharing the truth that so many others experience but may not have the words or courage to share. I was born along the ouachita and now live in DFW. I could feel every inch of your words. Would love to visit anytime you’re in the DFW area. ❤️❤️❤️
cool! I’m an aspiring nomad and would love to treat you to a coffee or meal anytime you pass through DFW! I lived in Monroe my first few years and returned to north and south LA many times since. Sending you good energy today! ❤️
Oh Carol <3. Just read this in my inbox and now I have to go back and find Part One! You write so beautifully. It was as if I was reading the opening paragraphs of your memoir, and I wanted to keep going... Thank you for sharing your porch with us <3
Thank you. Soon I'm posting a story called "Last Call" to vocal.media. It's under review for a challenge there and if it's okay with them, I will post it to Substack. I think the rules are I can post it to Substack after the challenge ends in September. This story is about me living my life at 19 and now living my life at 76. This story links well.
I will be on the lookout for it! I hope they do post it for you. I believe you have a wide audience who will enjoy and find value in reading your stories. Happy I found you on Substack :-)
No, we're not alone in this aging business. Aging is not easy, but having a shift in your mindset can help smooth the rough waters, don't you think so?
Your writing hits right at my gut level I’m sure Thumper left many lessons for you .Somehow I see another in your future they just seem to find us knowing what we need .The cicadas singing are joyful for their return the lightning bugs give them the background cinema.I think there is a lesson there I’m sitting right with you on that porch and we are holding hands. I believe it really is about where you are and not about where we’re going Thank You
I've got Thumper's picture hanging on my refrigerator. I see his face everyday and remember all the love and joy he brought me. He's been gone a little over a month, and I've adopted a 2 year old Siamese Tom cat last weekend. He has adjusted well, but a cat doesn't meet my needs like a good dog does. I'm in no hurry, but someday I'm sure a dog will find me in the strangest of places. It's something that I look forward to.
I love this post and the line, "It's a slow morning that I've learned to stop apologizing for." Even though I am older than you, I still struggle with feeling guilty when I’m not as productive as I, or others, expect me to be. Like you, my friends are gone, so I spend my days connecting vicariously with people like you on Substack. I’m truly sorry for your loss of Thumper. Pets become family and trusted companions, and losing them leaves a profound emptiness. My heart goes out to you.
I too have struggled with guilt I'm almost rid of. Like just sitting on the porch with my coffee and doing nothing because I've always been a human doing. Lol
Yes, pets become trusted companions and tend to fill in the void of emptiness we can experience in the later part of our life. Women who've raised a family, worked a public job, and served others for so long, need comfort when they've finished their mission and are no longer needed. But our pets do need us and for that it gives us purpose with intention, love and hope. Don't you think so, Eva? Welcome to my substack. I'm glad you're here.
Although I no longer have pets for various reasons, I completely agree that they can "give us purpose with intention, love, and hope." Perhaps someday you might find a shelter dog who needs you and can fill the space that is now empty.
Unintentionally, I discovered another life waiting for me to explore. God brought my younger man to me & everything seems brighter & full of hope today. Now I’m on my way to the gym because I want to be the best version of myself for both of us. And to answer your question, no, neither one of us was looking for someone but God knew before we knew that we needed each other. We thank Him everyday for that 🙏🏻
Hi Carol, That all sounds pretty sad and depressing. I totally get it though, at 77 I'm right there with you. I've lost someone this past week. Not an old friend, but someone I knew from old friends and family. He was 34! Too soon. So that being said, each day is so important, you never know when it's your time, so make the most of it.!
Hi Vicki,
I view death like this: I know I'm living in the last chapter of my life. It's only natural to go when it's your time to go. I accept that. I carry the mindset that time is running out and I want to do all the things I ever wanted to do if I'm physically able and still want to do those things I desired when I was younger. but today I'm more interested in the simple things and peace and contentment. I work on that every day. And yes your 34 year old friend gone. No matter our age, any one of us could get shot by a crazy drugged person, or ICE. Or anyone of us could go in a car crash. So, live my faith, be happy, and find peace and live your best life is my advice.
Beautifully written portrait of aging. I'm there too.
Growing old isn't easy is it Kristin? It comes much too fast for me.
You sound so level headed and accepting. Kudos. I have had 7 years of loss going now. At 60 I am living a life I am not sure what to make of. All my thoughts of the future have been wiped clean. All the best to you and thanks for sharing your “place.”
Tammy I know 7 years of loss has got to be hard. It's a learned skill to accept grief and still keep pushing on. It's harder for some than others, but the truth is you will get through it one way or the other. I wish you peace, love and grace today.
Dear Carol, I am so sorry for the loss of dear Thumper. Keep on keeping on.
Hi Susan,
He's been gone now about a month. I've already adopted a Siamese Tom Cat. He occupies me and requires a lot of attention. I have Thumper's picture posted on my refrigerator and those eyes of compassion fills my heart with love and I have fond memories of him.
I never thought of making it to 76! I'm sort of surprised. Writing on Substack is my new life. You tell stories better than I have learned to. I will keep learning from you and other writers. I am going to add selling some tiny offers of the wisdom and the insights I have learned over the years. I need to supplement my income and I think it will be fun. I still have lots of people in my life. I'm sure it is so much harder with friends and your Thumper gone. May you realize your articles move people. Keep sharing.
Hi Kristine,
Have you thought about selling your tiny offers on Gumroad? It's easy to navigate and you find people on subs tack who may be interested in what you offer. We all need to supplement our retirement income these days. Everything is so expensive. I never thought back in the 70's and 80's that these prices would be this high and a small apartment $1600 a month. But it is here for sure. Good luck to you. If you tell your stories, remember to show not tell. Maybe find some material someplace and ask how to practice on this.
Right behind you Carol and realized there's really no 'there' to get to. This is part of the journey for me and yes, I'm eternally grateful for this solo life I lead.
Sometimes I daydream about - over there somewhere. But really, it's about this new life I'm in.
Nothing you shared here sounded depressing or sad to me. It felt as if you've come into your own in some way. Thank you.
Hi Danielle,
It's not sad for me. I accept where I am in life and thank God I lived an adventurous life when I was young. No drugs, no trouble with the law, followed the rules, worked hard and had a good American life style that I'm grateful for today. I've lived my life with intention and still I'm living with dreams and intentions.
Very insightful and inspiring in fact. Im so glad you are here, and writing. You still have many friends, we are just all online now. ❤️
Hi Kyla,
Yes, we are online now. It's so different than I expected. Do you remember the days when we use to go and sit on friend and family's front porches and eat watermelon tog. Or just visit at the kitchen table. That doesn't happen anymore. People are just too tied up. But everyone socializes on the smart phone these days.
This is so beautiful, and so deeply moving. The way you describe starting over as what’s left after life has quietly taken so much is both heartbreaking and true. It honors the reality that grief does not disappear just because time has passed.
I especially loved the quiet mercy of the porch, the solar lights, and the cicadas still singing. Those small details hold so much survival, and hint at hope despite the losses. Thank you for writing this with such honesty.
You're welcome. Truth will set the soul free every time, and that's why I write with honesty.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Thumper. That unconditional, dependable love. I watched my mother outlive all her people. It's not pretty, or fun. Even when you find new ones...
Hi Jodi,
I think about how I would feel if I lost my sisters. We communicate better than I do with my daughters. I guess it's a generational gap that makes the difference. If I outlive all my family, I too will feel the loneliness, but I have many cards, letters and pictures to help me navigate the storms of life.
This is so beautiful, Carol. Thank you for sharing the truth that so many others experience but may not have the words or courage to share. I was born along the ouachita and now live in DFW. I could feel every inch of your words. Would love to visit anytime you’re in the DFW area. ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Amy,
Once in a while I pass though DFW heading to Tucson. Where were you born along the Quachita. I'm just curious. I'm glad you could feel my words.
cool! I’m an aspiring nomad and would love to treat you to a coffee or meal anytime you pass through DFW! I lived in Monroe my first few years and returned to north and south LA many times since. Sending you good energy today! ❤️
Oh Carol <3. Just read this in my inbox and now I have to go back and find Part One! You write so beautifully. It was as if I was reading the opening paragraphs of your memoir, and I wanted to keep going... Thank you for sharing your porch with us <3
HI Shonda,
Thank you. Soon I'm posting a story called "Last Call" to vocal.media. It's under review for a challenge there and if it's okay with them, I will post it to Substack. I think the rules are I can post it to Substack after the challenge ends in September. This story is about me living my life at 19 and now living my life at 76. This story links well.
I will be on the lookout for it! I hope they do post it for you. I believe you have a wide audience who will enjoy and find value in reading your stories. Happy I found you on Substack :-)
Thank you Shonda. I’m glad you’re here.
Recognition comes to me as I read your beautiful portrait/ description. We are not alone, are we?
HI Virginia,
No, we're not alone in this aging business. Aging is not easy, but having a shift in your mindset can help smooth the rough waters, don't you think so?
Beautiful.
Your writing hits right at my gut level I’m sure Thumper left many lessons for you .Somehow I see another in your future they just seem to find us knowing what we need .The cicadas singing are joyful for their return the lightning bugs give them the background cinema.I think there is a lesson there I’m sitting right with you on that porch and we are holding hands. I believe it really is about where you are and not about where we’re going Thank You
Hi Teddie,
I've got Thumper's picture hanging on my refrigerator. I see his face everyday and remember all the love and joy he brought me. He's been gone a little over a month, and I've adopted a 2 year old Siamese Tom cat last weekend. He has adjusted well, but a cat doesn't meet my needs like a good dog does. I'm in no hurry, but someday I'm sure a dog will find me in the strangest of places. It's something that I look forward to.
I love this post and the line, "It's a slow morning that I've learned to stop apologizing for." Even though I am older than you, I still struggle with feeling guilty when I’m not as productive as I, or others, expect me to be. Like you, my friends are gone, so I spend my days connecting vicariously with people like you on Substack. I’m truly sorry for your loss of Thumper. Pets become family and trusted companions, and losing them leaves a profound emptiness. My heart goes out to you.
I too have struggled with guilt I'm almost rid of. Like just sitting on the porch with my coffee and doing nothing because I've always been a human doing. Lol
HI Eva,
Yes, pets become trusted companions and tend to fill in the void of emptiness we can experience in the later part of our life. Women who've raised a family, worked a public job, and served others for so long, need comfort when they've finished their mission and are no longer needed. But our pets do need us and for that it gives us purpose with intention, love and hope. Don't you think so, Eva? Welcome to my substack. I'm glad you're here.
Hi Carol,
Although I no longer have pets for various reasons, I completely agree that they can "give us purpose with intention, love, and hope." Perhaps someday you might find a shelter dog who needs you and can fill the space that is now empty.
Unintentionally, I discovered another life waiting for me to explore. God brought my younger man to me & everything seems brighter & full of hope today. Now I’m on my way to the gym because I want to be the best version of myself for both of us. And to answer your question, no, neither one of us was looking for someone but God knew before we knew that we needed each other. We thank Him everyday for that 🙏🏻
That's so wonderful! 🥰
HI Linda,
I believe age is just a number. God puts people tog. at different stages of life for a reason that is hard to understand sometimes.