How I Stay Safe at Night Living in My Van (At 75)
What it really feels like to sleep alone in a vehicle—and how I stay one step ahead.
Night is different.
Everything changes when it gets dark.
The same place that felt fine during the day can feel completely different at night. Quieter. Less predictable. Sometimes…off.
And when you’re living in a van, alone, you notice that difference.
I don’t take chances with where I sleep.
At 75, I don’t have the luxury of ignoring my instincts or hoping for the best.
Where I park matters.
How I prepare matters.
Every single night.
I don’t stay in the same place over and over again.
I don’t create patterns.
Because once you become predictable, you become easier to find.
That’s something I learned early on.
Some nights I park where there are other vehicles around.
Truck stops. Certain parking lots. Places where I don’t stand out.
Not too crowded. Not too empty.
There’s a balance to it.
Too isolated, and you’re completely on your own.
Too busy, and you draw attention.
There are places I won’t sleep anymore.
Empty lots.
Dark areas.
Residential streets where people watch and report you.
I’ve learned to listen to that feeling when something isn’t right.
If it feels off, I leave.
I don’t wait to see what happens.
Every night, I go through the same routine.
Doors locked immediately.
Keys within reach.
Phone charged and close by.
Windows covered.
And I do not open the door for anyone.
There are nights when every sound feels too close.
A car door.
Footsteps.
Voices in the distance.
You learn to stay aware.
Not scared—aware.
There’s a difference.
People like to talk about van life like it’s freedom.
And sometimes it is.
But what they don’t talk about is the constant awareness you carry with you.
You’re always paying attention.
Always thinking ahead.
Especially as a woman alone.
This life teaches you quickly.
You learn to trust yourself.
You learn to move when something feels wrong.
You learn that safety isn’t something you think about once—it’s something you think about every night.
If you’re thinking about this life, or already living it, I would tell you this:
Don’t ignore your instincts.
Don’t worry about what something looks like.
Worry about how it feels.
Because that feeling is there for a reason.
I wrote a short guide sharing exactly how I choose where to sleep, the places I avoid, and the routine I follow every night to stay safe.
Safety isn’t optional in this life, it’s everything.
Thanks for your writings and advice. I’ve dreamed of van living. But have a husband who wouldn’t consider it. I just wanted to let you know that the link you provided to your guide is not working — at least for me. When I click on it, it takes me to a “page not found”. Just thought you might like to check on your end. Best of luck! And, thanks again. 🙏🏽
I’m enjoying reading your column. I wouldn’t want to have to live in a van. I would be afraid a lot. What do you do when you have trouble with the car?