My story is similar to yours. I had a similar “dream place” to move to since the first time I went there in the early 80’s, and that was Santa Fe, NM.
I visited and stayed there for weeks at a time, in all seasons for many years and finally I took the plunge, and moved there in 1999. I was 47 at the time. I had a friend’s townhouse to stay in when I got to Santa Fe until I got a place of my own. I was still working and needed to get a job and a place to live. In the first week I found a good job and a great little casita to live in. I was excited about starting a new life there. I loved the architecture, the geography, the openness and space of NM.
Well living in a place, having to have a job to support oneself, as well as being being a single older woman was a whole different deal. Santa Fe is a very cliquey place. Everyone was siloed in their “group” (artist/creative types, trust fund babies, Native Americans, Native New Mexicans, the wealthy, new agey/spiritual types, you get the picture) and there was little intermingling. I spent the loneliest 17 months of my life living in that city. I did everything by myself, no one invited me to Thanksgiving or dinner parties the whole time I lived there.
I finally packed up and moved back to California. Because I had family and friends there, not because I wanted to move back to SoCA, because I didn’t, but at least I had a support network there.
I’m ready to leave again. There’s too many rats in the cage now where I am in SoCA and I want to move to a smaller town, with nature around me. Which will not likely be in CA. Only this time I’m going to consult with an astrocartograper as to the best place to relocate, that will support the focus I want for the rest my life at 73 years young.
Great read Carol. This hit home for me as well. I've been told I'm never satisfied, that I'm looking for something that doesn't exist. But in reality, I believe I simply haven't found my 'place' at all. There have been pieces and part's of my 'place', but never enough of them in one place. So, like you, I dream. If I were single, I'd have my anchor of a small room or apartment somewhere near family, but I'd be traveling most of the time. And, I'd love to have a little van to do it in...at least in the US. There is so much I'd love to see, so many people I'd like to meet along the way. I refuse to give up my dream of the search. It's what keeps me alive.
DiAnn, why don't you start shopping around for a van? I purchased mine online and I don't regret it. Google has a product that shows you everything about the engine, tires, ac and everything to help you with your buying decesion. I chose and researched a family owned business in White cloud , MN and a delivery guy from Chicago brought the van to me in Louisiana. That was in 2020. I got a good deal. I've put 60,000 miles on it in 6 years and it still runs great with 141,000 miles. I take good care of it and keep it serviced. Let me know if I can give you some contacts. I will be happy to help.
I have to save up for it to make that happen. It’s harder, to make those decisions, when married. Even though we live as roommates now, we can’t afford to go our separate ways or we would. It’s complicated. But, we are downsizing so we won’t have a mortgage, but finances are super tight. You can bet if I can get to the point where I can, I will definitely will buy a camper. You are an inspiration.🙂
I am constantly thinking about my next trip or, more accurately , the trip after the next one. Sometimes I try to work in a short trip in between trips, even if it’s just a day trip . If I’m not on a trip, I am usually thinking of one.
Yes; I wholly endorse the sentiment. You have a luxury in the mobility; you can actually taste those locales and your memory of them from past times. You have pared your possessions down to the essentials, a very admirable accomplishment. You have a home base from which you can spread your wings for a day, a week, a month or longer. If you remain connected to those whom you love and who love you, being mobile is no "sentence", rather a freedom seldom experienced by most of us.
You give me hope Carol. This is what I want to do when I hit seventy. I want be a wandering granny, with my eyes on the next mountain. Great read. I think you have found your niche. Write more and more stories from your life.
Your essay resonates with me wholeheartedly. I'm 57 and divorced my husband of 35 years in 2025. I took my part of the money from the huge house he always wanted but couldn't be bothered to clean or maintain the up keep and bought a used 42 foot 5th wheel RV and a 17 acre abandon dairy farm in Northeastern PA.
I lived in that RV with 3 dogs and 6 cats during the coldest winter in almost a decade while turning a small barn into my home. It's been a monumental undertaking, which I would never do again, but it's MINE and I'm beholden to no one.
Still, my heart belongs in a camper on the road, exploring the United States because I always see possibilities on the horizon as well.
Next year that's the plan.
Best of luck to you, Carol and never lose your wanderlust.
Thank you Dawn. Wanderlust is gratifying to me. Who needs the big house and gold chandeliers anymore? It’s so useless to living a full life. Don’t you think so?
I think fantasizing is just a part of who we are. I follow some on social media that do a lot of traveling. And as they post about their travels, I feel that I am traveling with them.
Cyn, I feel the same way. I think of Carolyn’s RV… a traveling nomad from San Francisco for about 10 years now I think. I feel like I know her, even though we’ve never met. She is so real and adventerouos,
THIS! I want the same thing! When I get my RA in remission, I'm gonna get me a van & off I go! That sounds like heaven. Just going where you want to when you want to. The best time of my life was camping for almost 6 months in a particularly hard season of life (in the back of an old Bronco lol), a long time ago. But the memories I made & being in nature did me a world of good. I will never forget it. I was so happy to be alive every day.
I so admire your pluck. I live not far from the Ouachitas. My heart place is in the Ozarks where I spent over three decades. I turn 74 today. Your post made me think of a couple of my favorite quotes/poems.
“A man (woman) is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” —John Barrymore
Carol, I just turned 60 and I learned the thrill of the possibility of not quite seeing around that next corner and just wondering what might be there at 22 when I went on my first long road trip. This continued to grow for me during all the years that I was a passenger in a semi-truck and to this day I love driving on winding roads where I just always wonder what's going to appear when I go around the corner. You're right in saying it's truly the possibility that intrigues us.
Interestingly enough over 20 years ago when I first landed in Istanbul, Turkey for the first time, I felt like my soul was truly content in one place. But of course there are many corners to go around in that delightful city so there are always new things to explore and new possibilities. Thank you for this reminder today.
Hi DiAnn, I'm right there with you. I was on the road in an rv working as a Workamper in various parks and campgrounds. I retired about 5 years ago and now I'm fantasizing about starting over again. I'm 77 so I'm not sure I can do it again. It's alot of work for a single. But I do think about it alot and I'm always looking for another rv or yes even a tiny house. Thankyou for sharing.
My story is similar to yours. I had a similar “dream place” to move to since the first time I went there in the early 80’s, and that was Santa Fe, NM.
I visited and stayed there for weeks at a time, in all seasons for many years and finally I took the plunge, and moved there in 1999. I was 47 at the time. I had a friend’s townhouse to stay in when I got to Santa Fe until I got a place of my own. I was still working and needed to get a job and a place to live. In the first week I found a good job and a great little casita to live in. I was excited about starting a new life there. I loved the architecture, the geography, the openness and space of NM.
Well living in a place, having to have a job to support oneself, as well as being being a single older woman was a whole different deal. Santa Fe is a very cliquey place. Everyone was siloed in their “group” (artist/creative types, trust fund babies, Native Americans, Native New Mexicans, the wealthy, new agey/spiritual types, you get the picture) and there was little intermingling. I spent the loneliest 17 months of my life living in that city. I did everything by myself, no one invited me to Thanksgiving or dinner parties the whole time I lived there.
I finally packed up and moved back to California. Because I had family and friends there, not because I wanted to move back to SoCA, because I didn’t, but at least I had a support network there.
I’m ready to leave again. There’s too many rats in the cage now where I am in SoCA and I want to move to a smaller town, with nature around me. Which will not likely be in CA. Only this time I’m going to consult with an astrocartograper as to the best place to relocate, that will support the focus I want for the rest my life at 73 years young.
Great read Carol. This hit home for me as well. I've been told I'm never satisfied, that I'm looking for something that doesn't exist. But in reality, I believe I simply haven't found my 'place' at all. There have been pieces and part's of my 'place', but never enough of them in one place. So, like you, I dream. If I were single, I'd have my anchor of a small room or apartment somewhere near family, but I'd be traveling most of the time. And, I'd love to have a little van to do it in...at least in the US. There is so much I'd love to see, so many people I'd like to meet along the way. I refuse to give up my dream of the search. It's what keeps me alive.
Here's to both of us, believing and dreaming...
DiAnn, why don't you start shopping around for a van? I purchased mine online and I don't regret it. Google has a product that shows you everything about the engine, tires, ac and everything to help you with your buying decesion. I chose and researched a family owned business in White cloud , MN and a delivery guy from Chicago brought the van to me in Louisiana. That was in 2020. I got a good deal. I've put 60,000 miles on it in 6 years and it still runs great with 141,000 miles. I take good care of it and keep it serviced. Let me know if I can give you some contacts. I will be happy to help.
I have to save up for it to make that happen. It’s harder, to make those decisions, when married. Even though we live as roommates now, we can’t afford to go our separate ways or we would. It’s complicated. But, we are downsizing so we won’t have a mortgage, but finances are super tight. You can bet if I can get to the point where I can, I will definitely will buy a camper. You are an inspiration.🙂
Diane. I've heard those exact words myself... "Never satisfied or looking for something that doesn't exist."
My response is I'd rather be searching than settling.
I am constantly thinking about my next trip or, more accurately , the trip after the next one. Sometimes I try to work in a short trip in between trips, even if it’s just a day trip . If I’m not on a trip, I am usually thinking of one.
You sound like a wonderful, lively, adventurous human, Carol. Why question it….
I'm just wanting to make sure I'm normal.
What's "normal"? 🫠
I guess ‘normal’ is what is judged by society to keep you in line with the law.
Yes; I wholly endorse the sentiment. You have a luxury in the mobility; you can actually taste those locales and your memory of them from past times. You have pared your possessions down to the essentials, a very admirable accomplishment. You have a home base from which you can spread your wings for a day, a week, a month or longer. If you remain connected to those whom you love and who love you, being mobile is no "sentence", rather a freedom seldom experienced by most of us.
You give me hope Carol. This is what I want to do when I hit seventy. I want be a wandering granny, with my eyes on the next mountain. Great read. I think you have found your niche. Write more and more stories from your life.
❤️
Carol.
Your essay resonates with me wholeheartedly. I'm 57 and divorced my husband of 35 years in 2025. I took my part of the money from the huge house he always wanted but couldn't be bothered to clean or maintain the up keep and bought a used 42 foot 5th wheel RV and a 17 acre abandon dairy farm in Northeastern PA.
I lived in that RV with 3 dogs and 6 cats during the coldest winter in almost a decade while turning a small barn into my home. It's been a monumental undertaking, which I would never do again, but it's MINE and I'm beholden to no one.
Still, my heart belongs in a camper on the road, exploring the United States because I always see possibilities on the horizon as well.
Next year that's the plan.
Best of luck to you, Carol and never lose your wanderlust.
Thank you Dawn. Wanderlust is gratifying to me. Who needs the big house and gold chandeliers anymore? It’s so useless to living a full life. Don’t you think so?
Absolutely 💯
Enjoy! Strike off everything on that bucket list!
I’m working on it EKB.
We are still young enough and brave enough to explore Carol. Let's do it!
Absolutely. And don’t be afraid. Just do it!
I think fantasizing is just a part of who we are. I follow some on social media that do a lot of traveling. And as they post about their travels, I feel that I am traveling with them.
Cyn, I feel the same way. I think of Carolyn’s RV… a traveling nomad from San Francisco for about 10 years now I think. I feel like I know her, even though we’ve never met. She is so real and adventerouos,
THIS! I want the same thing! When I get my RA in remission, I'm gonna get me a van & off I go! That sounds like heaven. Just going where you want to when you want to. The best time of my life was camping for almost 6 months in a particularly hard season of life (in the back of an old Bronco lol), a long time ago. But the memories I made & being in nature did me a world of good. I will never forget it. I was so happy to be alive every day.
Amy, I glad you got to experience the good life in a Bronco.
They were tough made vehicles back in the day. Still it’s rewarding to just be free and live the way you choose. Life is beautiful if you let it be.
Yes, it is! I totally agree!! 🫶
Tend the fire 🔥
I so admire your pluck. I live not far from the Ouachitas. My heart place is in the Ozarks where I spent over three decades. I turn 74 today. Your post made me think of a couple of my favorite quotes/poems.
“A man (woman) is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” —John Barrymore
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
—Langston Hughes
Carol, I just turned 60 and I learned the thrill of the possibility of not quite seeing around that next corner and just wondering what might be there at 22 when I went on my first long road trip. This continued to grow for me during all the years that I was a passenger in a semi-truck and to this day I love driving on winding roads where I just always wonder what's going to appear when I go around the corner. You're right in saying it's truly the possibility that intrigues us.
Interestingly enough over 20 years ago when I first landed in Istanbul, Turkey for the first time, I felt like my soul was truly content in one place. But of course there are many corners to go around in that delightful city so there are always new things to explore and new possibilities. Thank you for this reminder today.
Hi DiAnn, I'm right there with you. I was on the road in an rv working as a Workamper in various parks and campgrounds. I retired about 5 years ago and now I'm fantasizing about starting over again. I'm 77 so I'm not sure I can do it again. It's alot of work for a single. But I do think about it alot and I'm always looking for another rv or yes even a tiny house. Thankyou for sharing.